Saturday, July 30, 2005
3 Months... I got to knew him for 3 months le. Yesterday 29th July was the 3rd month i knew him. I tot I had got over him gradually. But after receiving a sms from him yesterday, I just realised he had been in my mind always..... I had never forgotton him.. Never did i.. I jus only choose to put him aside, bury him deep inside my mind.. Tat's all... I can say I could never forget him. He will always be the guy in my heart, real hard to forget...
He had been in NS-BMT for almost 3 weeks le. (I missed the chance of seeing him on the 2nd week of his BMT when he could come out officially on his weekends. Becoz i mixed up the dates... so stupid me =) I did two times of smsing to him asking about how he is, and how's life inside and so on.. But his reply was so slow, was like one or two days more, then i will receive his reply. I could understand he is tired after the whole day training in the day.. I could understand everything... He had his own reasons for the late reply... I truely understand =). At least he got the heart to reply the sms. He had never taken any initiative to sms me before. I tot he had forgotten me.. forgotten me thoroughly... Until Yesterday, he send me a sms asking me how my life recently. I was so happy, real happy.. and so touched too. At that moment, I just realised my tears had rolled down my cheeks without me noticing them. I had just 3 words at that time in my mind. ---> I miss him~ I miss him~ I really miss him~~ (Another drop of tear fell againz while writing this blog)
Yesterday 29th just happened to be my 3rd month of knowing him. On the every month's 29th, he will "just happen" to send me an sms no matter where he is, how busy he is........... 29th May.... 29th June.... 29th July.... All these 3 particulate dates, he will always happen to remember me and send me an sms. (I thought this month I will not receive his sms) I always felt so touched and happy when I received his sms. I had been pondering over this for the 3rd month. Actually this date 29th was our first day that we started to chat online. I guess he never go remember because remember such thing only galz will do, and most importantly for the moments they wan to remember always.... and forever...
I dunno whether is it just a concidence that he send me that sms on those days or he also knew/remember this date. He happens to be those kind of person that will not really go and remember such dates, because he cannot even remember my graduation day and some other things i told him... and he only remembered after 3 times of asking me. I dunno.... I really dunno was tat all jus concidence? if not concidence than what should that call? Haizz.. Is it heaven trying to play a small trick on me? Trying to just let me believe that i still have hopes? I don't ask for more... I am just tired of hopes... GOD, Please don't give me more hopes and after that just let them take them away so fast... so fast....
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [3:08 PM]
Monday, July 25, 2005
Oh my Oh my.. Today is one of my frenz (can say net frenx ba..) 's birthday ... 25th July 2005..
Arise aka. Yuan Hong... 20th Birthday Today..
Guess what i did????
>>
I spent 1 hour on the 23th midnite in creating an online birthday card using the lousy program, Microsoft Paint. After finishing it, i just realised i did a bad job on it.. Hahah.. But.. But... But.....
>>
But But But But....................
I actually FEEL the satisfaction with my workpiece!!!!!! (Wanna see tat card??? Lolz.. cannot.. Unless you ask me lor.. I show it personally to you! But must depends on my mood la... Whahaha)
Hmmm... jus realised actually My ART.. really sux.. Last time still used to appreciate my own works. Hahah.. ok la... Come' on.. Lets go back to the topic..
Hmm... Yesterday just send out that card to him thru MSN File sharing.. He said tat the card was nice.. and he was quite happy receiving my card.. I am glad that he had said tat.. if he said someting else, i guess i might go knock on the wall and die immediately... (Hhaha.. you all should have made a guess of wat is the something else he might say ba.. lolz) Phew~~ Luckily he is not tat kind of guy that will say tat "someting else" ba.. And maybe tat is also one of the reasons i may really go decide my mind to set off creating an online birthday card for him..
But after i sent tat to him.. I really feeling abit awakard too.. lol..
Reason is simple.. I just feel that creating a card for someone is a stupid and childish way.. somemore.. to a guy that I never get to see before lehz.. But dunno why... Just really wanna give him someting.. So I went to create that card without much hesitations. HMM.. Have I did someting stupid, lame, or even mad????? HMMM.... I tink I didn't becoz I jus wanna make him happy as I always feel that he sounds so sad, so solemn in the msn... =)
So I never regret creating tat card.. AND one more thing, i think that will be my first time and GONNA be my last time doing such thing ba.. Whahah... =D
SO..... =D
THE moral of this story i told you guys is that never to think you have done a stupid thing, becoz while you have done that someting, someone maybe be happy or get appreciated of wat you have done for them too.. Like me~ HAHAH.. Duhz..
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [12:05 PM]
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Thanks to my friends.. I am back to the happy Y.A.N.L.I.N.G that goes around smiling to everyone againz =D.. Crazy rite? Hahah... I am back to the one that bring happiness, Sunshine to everyone againz!!
Hi, Everyone.. Sunshine Gal is BACK in action..............................................................................
Haiz... Hurt is something that everyone will get in touch thru' out each whole life.. From the one you loved, from your loved one, from families, from parents, from siblings as so on...
Believe me~
However, here is an advice to everyone.. Dun go remember it. You have to learn from it and let it go... let it go slow, and steady.... and also thoroughly...
Most importantly, you have to wipe it out from your heart, your memories, yr mind.. Trust me you have to do this... although i understand how hard is it to do that.. but you have to.. =) Becoz you need to stay HAPPY =P just like wat i am now~
Like me, after so much hurt and sad happenings that i experienced, i get to understand so much tings in life.. You can have yr heart tore up and bleed like hell but who cares? No one will know about it, no one will care about , no one will understand you.... most importantly no one will stop by to help you stop your bleedings, clean up the mess in you...
So why to hold it on, letting it taking controls over your feelings, your mood, your mind, your actions; making you crazy?
Come' on... Don't let your life controlling and leading you now! Create your own miracle life.. Believe that you can do it!!
Seriously speaking.. I could forget the hurt, the one who hurt me and of coz the unhappiness that were being brought to me.
However, I just realised that I had even bulit a invisible "protective shield" subconsciously to protect myself from being get hurt againz.. againz from the same thing...I guess not only me would do tat, to most ppl may do the same too..
It will take time to "thin" down the protective shield i guess.. Let time do the job ba. =P
After so many happenings, I guess friends are actually those that will stand by you, share your problemz, lend you their ears, give you advices; so on..
(( So here's a note to my a few close frenx that have read my blogs and to those good frenx that have given me moral support, lending me their precious time online tat may not be able to have the chance to read my blogs -->
i just wanna tell them... "Thanks frenx, I am very glad to have you guys as my frenx.. Hope we will be always the very good frenx in our life. Muacks~" =P ))
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [11:02 PM]
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I dunno what should i say? Hmm... jus feel like blogging now =)
So suddenly i feel that i am really really a fool.. a pure and innocent fool~ Why am i saying tat.. i dunno.. I jus feel that i had been living in the world of "no evil".. living in the world of "innocence" for so mani mani years... Till now i jus woke up.. woke up just because of a story...
A story which has waken me up, telling me that i am still not tat exposed to the actual world.. The Real World. The story begins here...:
Introduction:
Miss Y - A sunshine gal which shouldnt be in this story
Miss C - A gal who is Mr. Unknown's true & Unforgettable love
Mr. Unknown - A guy that regrets what he had did.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Story Starts >>>>>>>>>>>
One fine morning,
Miss Y went to send a sms to Mr. Unknown because she knew that Mr. Unknown was quite sad the particular day before.
The sms goes:
"Positive Thinking is like tat.. There is a little bird in the sky and yet it shit on you but anywhere. You are not angry.. You can only think that you are just lucky not to get a flying elephant that shit on you!! =D"
The reason he was sad because of Miss C. He missed Miss C very much and Miss Y knew about this all along... She knew that Mr. Unknown love Miss C and would never forget her, and no gal can replace Miss C in the heart of Mr. Unknown. And Because Mr. Unknown had hurt Miss C somehow.. someway.. Which Miss Y never really know what happen to them. Miss Y told herself before not to fall for Mr. Unknown but it seemed like things were getting out of control somehow. Miss Y really fall for Mr. Unknown without herself knowing it till Mr. Unknown reminded her about his unforgettable true love, Miss C. Miss Y felt that her heart was tearing up, into pieces, and her heart was bleeding profusely.........................
After Miss Y had send the sms.. Mr. Unknown replied back:
The sms goes:
" I am not being pessimistic. I really regret what those tings i did to her."
Miss Y replied back to Mr.Unknown:
The sms goes:
".... I jus feel that you are blaming everyting to yourself. Maybe she (Miss C) right now is living much more better?"
After a while, Mr. Unknown replied back in short and sweet:
The sms goes:
"Drop the topic.. You don't know what happened."
After receiving the sms, Miss Y regreted for being so harsh in the sms. She felt that she did not have the rights to say anything or any comments about them because she really dunno anything. Her main purpose is just wanna help Mr. Unknown, wanna him to be happy, just as simple as that. She did not know things would get to this worst. Miss Y felt like so gulity~~ Once again her heart tore and bled.
Miss Y bearing the pain, replied back, "Ok.. Sorry.."
The story did not end here. Mr. Unknown send another sms to Miss Y againz. This is the wakening part of the story.
The sms goes:
"Nvm... You can never understand how deep i hurt her..... It has become a life time's thingy..... So i guessed you should know what i did to her.."
The sms woke Miss Y up. She got part of the meaning. But she still could not confirm whether what Mr. Unknown meant was what she had thought. The second sms indeed had proved her thoughts right...
The sms goes:
".... And i dun have AIDS. I dun have HIV... Jus to let you know and thx =>"
(I believe readers should have understand what this meant ba)
Miss Y totally breakdown. A tear rolled down from her cheek.. She just realised this world had become a total stranger to her. She dun understand.... alot of tings.. Precisely what she knew at that moment was that she need some peace. If there is a choice, She rather choose not to know so many tings, although even she knows or don't know its still hurt her in both ways.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [6:12 PM]
Monday, July 18, 2005
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [4:55 PM]
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Hei guys.. Try it out.. Great test of wat type of person you are... based on ICE-CREAM???? Oh gosh~~You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream 
You tend to be successful at anything you try.
A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [2:36 PM]
Saturday, July 16, 2005
I took a photo with Derrick Hoh Wei Jian.. One of the contestant in Superstar~~ wow... Cool rite???
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [1:47 PM]
Frenx Forever.. 1 yr, 2 yrs... or even 10 yrs.. Take care frenx... Remember our graduation.. our days in Poly...
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [1:07 AM]
Friday, July 15, 2005
I finally graduate!!!! This is my family.. They come to support me~~~ WHooohoo
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [2:02 PM]
This is chengyi and me~~ FInally got a chance to take photo with him~ Nice Guy huh..
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [2:00 PM]
Yesterday was my Graduation Ceremony Day 2005. So happieeee!! (I am one of the prize winner lehz.... Happy for me?? hahahaa) Althought my foots got blisters after all the tortures from walking here and there throughout the whole day with the court shoes that i newly bought~... hahaha.. Yesterday, I woke up so early in the morning.. feeling so excited about the coming event - my poly graduation ceremony. I meetup jenny, jasmine, sanly and pat to go early to NP canteen 1 to have lunch at 12.00 noon. Then in the canteen, we saw so mani ppl wearing formal.. everyone was so excited.. so happy over the graduation event... Really cant wait for the graduation to start.. hahaha..
At 1.00pm, the convection centre's basement area - outside all theatres are flooded with the graduates, like me... haha.. All wearing formal, with their best outfits + blazers on them.. Cool sight!~~ Oh ya, jus remember i loan a blazer from the school. SO NICE MAN!!! I lIKE IT.. HAHA.. (later then show u guys my photo with me in blazer... Cool~) Then jus like the rest, i have to report to my respecting theatre, for prize winner.. there is a bit different in the briefing and procedures with the rest..
At 2.00pm, we are leaded first into the convention hall seated at the right cornered of the hall, which is near the right exit of the hall.. The whole event starting sooon.. Within 30 mins, guests, parents and the rest of the graduates are seated in the hall + guests of honour of the event. Everyting started smoothly, well and perfectly, graduattes one-by-one have to go up to the stage following the correct procedures to collect their scrolls from Miss Angela Wee, Our principal of ICT.
To the end of the graduation ceremony, then prize winners are being queued outside the side exit for their turn to be called in up the stage to collect their certificate, transcript plus scroll. WOW!! When its my turn, i am so excited.. haha.. oh ya.. Forget to mention my parents came to support me too!!! YEAH~ That is my most happy moments in my life.. i guess till now =D
Being prize winner + Certificate of Merit + CCA Bronze Award + Parents' Support
WOW... i tink i am very happy le.. Finally i graduated from Poly..... with so mani memories which i can bring and keep in my brain and till i am old~~~
After the graduation event, we have a reception. I meet up with my parents then take some photos together.. happily.. =) Then i continued taking mani photos with my frenx, classmates polymates and of coz SUPER STAR HOH WEI JIAN hahahaha... I will upload the photos after i got them from my frenx.. haha.. Keep coming back soon!! I will post them in photobucket.com. come here is the link.. There contains my ICT prom nite 2005 at fulterton too..
----> http://photobucket.com/albums/b390/Yanny85/
Enjoy viewing and looking~~ =D
Oh yesh.... haven finish.. We went to orchard initially wanna to catch a movie call "Island"at Cineleisure... But in the end the show is not up yet till 21st July.. Wat a mistake we make~~ Oh gosh.. then we have to walk all the way to Lido, Shaw there to checkout other new movies. That is a BIG mistake.. IN the very very very very end... We din watch any shows but we suggested to eat Marche at Heeren... =( (Sad becoz i have to walkkkkkkkk there.. with the foot pain like HELL) Overall still happy la.... pain but yet worth it. Becoz.... i meet up with my frenx, eat and enjoy and celebrate our happiness together yesterday~~~
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [1:40 PM]
Friday, July 08, 2005
He went in le... for his NS-BMT(Basic Military Training) at Tekong.. Yesterday i had breakfast with him at McDonalds and then we went to catch a movie right after that. This is my very first time watching a movie so early in the morning.. Everything goes well.. Mi and him never tok much.. Hardly have any topics to tok about. I am trying and trying very hard to think of getting any relevant topics to ask him.. However, i cant get to think of any at the very moment. We will then just sit there, waiting for each other to get back the conversation again. I just remembered what he say: "I changed my spec. le.." Then he gave mi his happy smile.. I see le nearly stunned. At least this is the overall most interesting conversation he started it with.
He looked abit tired yesterday... and i feel so gulity... I shouldn't have asked him to come out for breakfast. Really...... so gulity... If I never get him for breakfast, he could have all the time he want to sleep and dun have to wake up so early jus for this stupid breakfast meetup.
He told me he still haven recovered from his sickness, and yet today he has to go in NS. I am quite worried about him. I cant stop myself worrying for him. Hai.. At this time, he has already go in le... As a friend of his, i hope he will be alright ba.
I know i gonna miss him and yet i wanna forget him... I did not regret of knowing him, at least i feel that. My only wish is that i Jus wanna tell him " Please remember me... " and dun forget me. Oh btw, i lied to him.. The personal message in my MSN - Please remember me - actually i trying to ask him to remember me... although it is also a title of the song which i like it too.
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [12:15 PM]
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
This is the watch i wan to buy.. 300 bucks~ so EXP.. Only if i am rich~
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [2:42 AM]
Monday, July 04, 2005
Oh god.. What happen to me? What did i wanna care so much? I shouldn't let myself fall into tat again.. NOOoooooo... There are so mani questions in my mind right now.... What should i do now now? How should i ask him? Did he get hurt? Why is he hurt???? alll these.. tired~ Why jus cant let me read people's mind? I hate being like tat... I dislike to understand wat people are thinking.. wat people are trying to say.. all tat.. Haiz~ Life... I hate life tat are arent tat SIMPLE~~~
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [7:41 PM]
Saturday, July 02, 2005
I am sick again.... BAD WEEK FOR Me... This week is my second time... WHAT HAPPEN TO ME??? ThanksAll goes to the letters mailed to me.. They are the causes to my sickness..
1) The first one is the appeal letter from NTU -->
"Appeal Result = Unsuccessful!.. " Sianzz i see this.. not long after.. Headache come and find me~~
2) The second one is the NP scholarship 2005 application letter from NgeeAnn -->
"Appeal Result = Unsuccessful!.. " Again... i saw the word, unsuccessful.. Suddenly my nose block.. wat the.. wats wrong with me????
Is it true tat bad luck falls immediately when "they" know you are in bad mood?? Haiz.. i am gonna believe it soon... If i receive one more REJECTION OR UNSUCCESSFUL letters like tat again, Believe me.. i may get sick againnnn...
How i wish i am able to share my unhappiness with him, but he is not free... When i took my very first initiative to sms someone tat i wanna call him to chat, i got rejected. I doubt you can believe how i feel at the very moment.. But i dun blame him.. not his fault either.. Jus happen to be the wrong timing... I tink he has totally break my confidence i have built up since months.. I may have to rebuild again... Haiz..
-^-YannY-^- drop a note at [4:41 PM]
